He was 2-months old when Precious Thabethe travelled across the city to collect him from the hospital. As the House Mother of The Domino Foundation’s Babies’ Home, she had been contacted by Durban Child Welfare about this little person who had been abandoned soon after his birth. The Home has a solid reputation for providing the loving and safe crisis-parenting needed by orphaned or abandoned infants and toddlers before they are matched with their “forever” families. Child Welfare’s panel had deliberated over possible adoptive matches for the young lad and had identified a single man keen to assume the role of “Dad”. He first met the little fellow at the Durban North transition home and there was an immediate spark between the pair and a gentle bonding began.
The two have been meeting regularly at the Home since then. The journey to becoming a family hasn’t all been social: there has been a mountain of paperwork to be completed by Child Welfare, the Babies’ Home, the Children’s Court, and, of course, the dad. Not only has he had to negotiate all the legal formalities, but has also been carefully instructed by Precious and her team of carers on babies’ sleep routines, sorting out nappy rash, sterilising bottles and a plethora of other essentials in handling life with a demanding infant. “This is going to seriously impact my independent lifestyle,” said the papa-in-waiting, “but I know the sacrifices will be worth it. I can’t wait!”
Not all the 180 adoptions which Domino’s Babies’ Home have seen have gone so smoothly. “If the child is being adopted internationally,” commented Precious, “things are complicated on both sides of the ocean…passports, name-changes, emigration and immigration complexities”. Inter-country post-adoption reports are received for 5 years after a child leaves South Africa so that Child Welfare can follow the progress of the child’s adoption.
None of these, however, are problems babies’ homes here have to deal with…they are territory for the adoptive families, DSD and the courts to negotiate.
Domino’s Babies’ Home is just one of several in the Durban North area negotiating the official (and not-so official) terrain of transitioning these tiny members of our community into their new adoptive environment.
Jo Teunissen of The Baby Home (not to be confused with Domino’s transition home) commented that, considering the number of children in need of adoption, one of the biggest challenges faced with local adoptions is the shortage of families screened and approved to adopt. She added that many of the families who have been approved have very specific criteria which makes matching more difficult. The officials at Child Welfare perform the screening and matching processes with the utmost professionalism and, at the same time, sensitivity to the very human aspects of all that is involved.
Precious agreed with Jo when she said that every adoption is a success story. “Saying goodbye is never easy, especially when a child has been with us for a long time, but knowing they are going to a ‘forever family’ is a bittersweet moment, but absolutely worth it.”
The consensus of both crisis moms is that more people should consider adoption as a first option, not just as a Plan B. The women have seen adoption having the power to change lives, for the children and for the families.
Vincent Chitray, Adoption Manager at Durban and District Child Welfare, was adamant about the confidentiality which is vital in the run-up to every adoption’s being finalized and registered: “It is extremely important that the child and its adoptive family’s right to have any information about how the child was found and where the child was placed treated with utmost discretion and respect.”
He invited anyone who would like to make enquiries about adoption, to contact him at adoptionmanager @ cwdd.org.za.
