One year shy of seven decades since 20 000 women raised their voices for the oppressed of South Africa, many women in our country are still battling to find a place of dignity and respect and are resigned to the place tradition, culture and history have assigned them. There are others who determinedly have pushed through one barrier after another to establish themselves as victors instead victims.
Thandi is not her real name and she will probably never be able to use it in a public forum, neither is she someone who would normally be lauded in Women’s Month. She is not the CEO of a JSE-listed corporate, an international gold-medalist or a rising star in the world of entertainment. She is, however, a heroine who deserves round after round of our applause for not only having survived deprivation, humiliation and exploitation, but also for having found a path to restoration and now having embraced a life far from her former life of abject deprivation.
As a young girl, Thandi knew the extreme pain, rejection and brokenness caused by being sexually abused by her father. This also ruptured her relationship with her mother, and the emotional wounding left her deeply scarred.
Trauma was added to trauma when, as a young woman, Thandi survived a brutal sexual assault carried out by a group of men. In a lifestyle atmosphere charged with addiction and desperation, she found herself pulled into the sex industry. Life on the streets, where each day was a fight for survival, was unforgiving. She battled substance dependency, malnutrition and chronic health issues. Her own suffering was intense and was exacerbated by the pain of being separated from her son whom she loved deeply but had been unable to care for.
Just three years ago, full of anger but desperate to find an escape from the prison her life had become, Thandi found her way to Othandweni (Place of Love), the Red Light anti-human-trafficking safehouse. She arrived in a totally debilitated state from detoxing off drugs and fighting malnutrition. As a refugee from the city streets, she was hesitant and guarded about what she was stepping into, but deep inside, she had a conviction that she had to find an escape route.
At that stage, she knew that she had an assured place to sleep and meals to eat…and people who compassionately welcomed her and gave her the respect which had been lacking for most of her life. She couldn’t have known then that it marked the beginning of a radically new chapter rooted in healing and transformation.
Almost inevitably, Thandi’s time at Othandweni was marked with extreme challenges as she confronted layers of trauma, the strained relationship with her mother, having to forgive her father and the many men who had violated her, all while battling to remain sober. As the weeks grew into months, this valiant lady began to let her defences come down. In her new-found vulnerability, she confronted her past, embraced accountability, and leaned into the support system Othandweni gave her.
June 2024 was a time when the whole safehouse community celebrated a significant milestone in Thandi’s journey into wholeness when she marked her second anniversary of sobriety. It was seen as a powerful declaration of a full reclamation of her life. That same month saw Thandi graduating from a one-year beauty therapy course, an especially poignant moment as she shared it with it her mother.
Thandi spoke of her time of being on the Red Light programme: ”I found far more than what I was looking for when I first rang the bell at Othandweni’s gate. I found safety, but I also found purpose. In the atmosphere of love, hope and restoration, I surrendered my life to Christ and began building a new identity far divorced from the ugliness and shame of my past.” The programme opened counselling and life skills opportunities, and vocational training. “I was equipped to dream again. My time at the shelter wasn’t just about my healing. It was also a preparation for my sustainable future as an independent woman confident in my self-respect and knowing my value.”
Today, Thandi is back home, reunited with her mother and her son. Her dream is to one day open her own beauty salon, which, as she describes it, will be “a space not just for my business, but for beauty and dignity for other women.”
In Women’s Month, Thandi’s story is an inspirational testimony of resilience and grace, where she is the heroine who has journeyed from the darkness of exploitation to the light of restoration.
